So if people are going to say you *can't* cleanse the past from a piece of land and do something positive with it instead (a claim I've seen many times regarding plantations), then you can't from this entire continent. After you’ve seen enough magazines and pins, you can tell who’s in Los Angeles and who’s in Connecticut, without even reading the captions. While I think that burial grounds are as sacred as any other piece of land (as to say very sacred) they have a different status. If you think Southern plantations are beautiful, what with their stately pillars and grand entrances, congratulations on being able to compartmentalize unimaginable human suffering from the symmetry of Antebellum architecture! Plantation weddings aren’t anything new (and as Ani DiFranco showed, plantations can be sites for other misguided events as well). At the end of Rachel's comment, she began walking down the path on which I want to continue. No, having a black president for eight years does not mean that we are done with racism or living with full racial equality in America. My White privilege and conditioning shielded me from thinking about the history of the place where I was going to say my vows. Sorry, there was an error. I know many people who have visited auschwitz to pay their respects. Thanks x … Wedding Cake Allowance . How much does the identity of the couple getting married there factor in? Thank you for putting into words what I was thinking too. One of my friends, for instance, insisted on getting married on September 11, because she wanted to make that day something wonderful, not just something tragic. Hell, Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds had a plantation wedding these weddings are for those who romanticized the south but want to divorce it from slavery Personally, I don’t go to any plantation weddings that invite goes straight into the trash. I think this is only like getting married in a church. It is a historical plantation home that dates back to the 1800’s, and still has that Southern flare a bride needs when considering a plantation wedding. It's a very cute chapel in and off itself, as well. I bet you could find some terrible reason to avoid every establishment in the world, but what fun would that be? I am not saying that I have all the answers. 33 Stylish Wedding Invitations That Won’t Blow Your Whole Budget. But … Also, I cannot imagine asking my Black guests to celebrate my wedding at a plantation! Prison? Bridal gowns priced $200-$2000 & over 500 bridesmaids priced $99-$300. While I absolutely believe that your money should go toward businesses/causes/people you believe in, the concept of avoiding a place because of it's history seems like punishing it for something it had no control over. In fact, I plan weddings for a living. Hell Christianity as a whole hasn't been a glorious ride with no persecution, plus there's always individual horrific acts. How Do You Stop People From Inviting Themselves to Your Wedding? (Honestly though I can't even imagine checking out a plantation venue.). We set aside space for death. As all the comments illustrate, this is a really tough thing to wrap one's head around. I would have loved to get married there! Let’s Plan This Thing. The only wedding I ever went to on a southern plantation was for an African American couple. . So you are pressing maybe hundreds of people into your wedding as decoration without their consent and on property that they bought for themselves to be their resting place. It's not like they're going to have an only black person wait staff or something ridiculous. But I live here. A plantation complex in the Southern United States is the built environment that was common on agricultural plantations in the American South from the 17th into the 20th century. But, just as they wouldn't expect me to force them to come, I wouldn't allow anybody's personal beliefs to change decisions made by my partner and myself. But the thing is, all of those moneymaking crops were also brutally labor intensive. But places that I have a personal connection to or could raise a social issue (that is in my lane) with, yes. It really depends on how the current owners reflect on that period in time. I think buildings in particular hold memories and negative vibes, just like some castles do. Being a southern girl with a love of big, old buildings and beautiful green spaces, there are plenty of plantation homes that could host my wedding. How Do I Celebrate My Friends Who Had To Cancel Their 2020 Wedding? Copy link. Im invited to a wedding in late may at the belle meade mansion plantation in tn. True story: Last year Christmas, my mother said she didn't need really need anything in the way of gifts because she already had everything she wanted. argument. FUCK yes. 8-min read. It’s open sides invite the forest inside and natural light streams in a halo over the bridal couple. . At the heart of the discussion about plantation weddings is whether or not they should be used for celebrations and events, instead of serving mainly as a memorial to the people who were subjugated and treated inhumanely. Cemetery just seems disrespectful, to the living. Historically, we aren’t very far removed from the era of active plantations, and the effects of slavery persist. It's all about prospective and the fact that it is 2015. Same as a castle. Perhaps a nice way to create some better memories on a horrible location is to celebrate love there. The late Victorian age turned mourning into an expensive high art and at the same time people were getting tired of the gloom and doom, Naturalism and the Enlightenment were very big in the US. It was strange. If you grew up in the United States, or just have a loose understanding of the basics of American history, you know how a good number of African-Americans ended up here: slavery. Plantations simply because I don't think I have a right to even try to reclaim that space since I'm not a POC. I think if we keep those two things in mind we can navigate sensitive situations like this better. oak alley plantation (blue sky traveler)No one specifically chooses to plan a wedding — or any event — where others suffered. And perhaps it's because I live in Europe, where pretty much every bit of development work gets paused to review archaeological finds, but ancient history feels very different to recent history. It was incredibly controversial at the time and remains to this day. I hesitate to post since our examination of the issue didn't run as deep as many of the voices here. One wedding isn't going to solve a family's near century of pain and brokenness stemming from the imprisonment and loss of family members there, and it is a place where no happiness can exist. The plantation where Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively got married has issued a statement now that the famous couple has voiced regret about tying the knot in a venue where slavery took place. It’s interesting that you bring up that style of cemetery. Battlefields because sad, and because my family immigrated to the US long after every war fought on US soil transpired, so I have no connection to these places. Our first Wedding Vendor Spotlight! Eight years ago, loads of people were renting out plantations for their weddings. Florida weddings range from $93 to $421 per guest for both ceremony and reception, though locations for a ceremony only can be found for under $500 for 50 guests. Plantation weddings are an enigma to me, more so the people who opt to have venues there. I feel like there's very broad atrocities (like conquering an entire continent) that could be extended to include all the broad suffering that people in various conquered Europe/Asia/Africa from before time and the very specific atrocities that happened in certain patches of land. Yes. Here's access to every wedding planning checklist you need! A celebration taking place there is deeply inappropriate. There are properties out there that loudly reject the original purpose of their land and structures, and make some effort to support organizations that center African-Americans. Our comments are not the place to pimp your website. The house had been torn down, but the cabins and barns still existed. I have no faith in the Christian doctrine, personally believing that the words of a wise Jewish revolutionary were corrupted as another form of control of the bourgeois over the proletariat, and churches are plentiful and pretty and convenient as buildings. Share this. How bad it got for the poor sods confined to what became my bedroom or kitchen, I can only imagine. Does it mean other folks, whether they have a connection to the historical context of the site or not, getting married there and filling the space with joyful memories until the painful past if forgotten? For anyone planning a wedding, there are dozens of decisions to make including themes, colors, size,location, and style. There's forgetting history and being disrespectful, and then there's moving on and learning. So if they found something that works for them, holds any meaning, and doesn't highlight something negative from the past, then I don't see anything wrong with it. The fact that "building and 'class' built with the bones and blood of enslaved humans is seen as a high status thing rather than something a nation is deeply ashamed of is kind of a huge part of the problem. Years later, the land was sold to a developer, the cabins and barn were torn down, and now there are townhouses. So that a white family could build wealth from agriculture. It's a beautiful sprawling ground complete with a Gothic chapel, historic graves marked with incredible sculptural mausoleums (Stanford and Ghirardelli are among some recognizable names), rolling green hills and views of the San Francisco Bay. So many places in this country (and others countries too!) Even if the actual people who were worked to literal death constructing the building are buried in unmarked graves under the dance floor? Rather than a vague "this country was owned by aboriginals", it's a specific "this building was literally built by slaves. In now considering having my ceremony at Congo Square in New Orleans. She lives in New York City. Every inch of land in Canada and the US is tainted. There are a couple of great locations for plantation weddings in Charleston, South Carolina, thanks to the rich history of the port city. My White privilege and conditioning shielded me from thinking about the history of the place where I was going to say my vows. But plantations, places that market themselves as plantations, regular cemeteries, battlefields, and zoos would all be off limits for me. Of course, you’d be hard-pressed to find anyone who has firsthand slavery experiences to describe, but at the same time it’s important to note that slavery was really not very long ago. I even had one on my list. Photo of Eastern State Penitentiary wedding by Mike Allebach. ALL CONTENT COPYRIGHT © 2019 – MEG KEENE, PRACTICAL MEDIA INC. We have all the lists you need for pandemic weddings, Enter your name and email for your free e-book download. You can really reach and say that there’s bad history anywhere that anyone was ever abused, or died. The bride is white and she invited alot of her friends from her graduation class. How Do I Navigate COVID Precautions Around My Anti-Vax Family? Grab our free pandemic wedding planning e-book, Thanks for submitting. Part of my friend’s wedding is taking place on a former plantation in the South. (Photo: Getty Creative) Choosing to celebrate your love, your hope for the future, and the beginning of your new life on the grounds of a plantation is bizarre at best, but the word I’d really use for it is horrifying. Step. They can't consent to your treatment of their graves and I doubt anyone has ever looked up the families of the buried and asked permission. This hotel venue is a 232 acre resort surrounded by the natural springs of Kings Bay. Following careful refurbishments, this circa 1900 residence is now open to couples to host their celebrations. In the conversations that I’ve read about this, an ongoing argument is that it was 100+ years ago, and the current venue owners have nothing to do with what happened at the property back then. I'm pretty sure people marrying on a plantation aren't there to celebrate their whiteness or play at slave owner, they're there to get married. Then, yeah, time to get pissed. These Embellished Veils Are My Favorite DIY Project Of All Time, How to Make A Killer Denim Jacket For Your Wedding, classify sites that had over 20 slaves as plantations, the average black household over two hundred years to amass the same amount of wealth as the average white household, send you right back to institutional racism. I think it distasteful to get married at a plantation much like I would feel it distasteful to get married in an internment camp, or at Dachau or Auschwitz, or a specific battle site where Native Americans were slaughtered, or an Indian boarding school where children were stripped of their language and culture. Infants and children along with adults. “It’s a beautiful backdrop.” Are you holding your wedding at a cemetery to have lost family close to you or are you trying to be edgy and spooky? If you went on the past you could not get married anywhere in America as it was stolen from the Native Americans who were certainly abused, I think there is a point where you have to just have to acknowledge that the past is the past and move on from there on locations, If a place makes you uncomfortable do not get married there, More than likely this plantation is not even owned by the original owners, Unless they are promoting pro confederate weddings and flying the stars and bars at this point it is just a house with some lovely grounds. The plantations around Charleston, South Carolina, where I was raised, are today a major destination for plantation weddings. Southern plantations were generally self-sufficient settlements that relied on the forced labor of enslaved people. The bride had traced her lineage back to that plantation. Another “trend” at that time was hipsters doing “hobo” weddings – dressing in rags, drinking from Mason jars, etc. I would consider a park cemetery, because that kind of history is cool, and A Fine and Private Place is my favorite book. This was a time to carry on cultural traditions. I guess I don't understand what "taking a place back" means in a practical sense. That church might have a much darker history too. I love that that happened and think its a beautiful way to go about it. The history of the place is kinda grim, as it is for most pre-Victorian asylums. They provide an outdoor setting and a ballroom for engagement parties, wedding showers, rehearsal dinners, ceremonies, and … And there are so many questions you can ask yourself, with answers that’ll send you right back to institutional racism. Required fields are marked *. Davies Manor is one of the oldest plantation homes still open to the public in Shelby County and sits on 32 acres of land. Nancy states, “Having a plantation wedding is wonderful. Joanne & Brian's gothic and glamorous castle wedding, Unique Chicago wedding venues coveted by Offbeat Bride readers, Offbeat New York wedding venues from real offbeat weddings, 43 castle wedding venues that will transport you to Camelot, An ode to a cookie cutter wedding: why a "wedding factory" works for me, The hobo wedding: why romanticizing certain wedding themes is problematic, LA couple ditches California for Italian elopement, Commiseration for the depressed bride, because not everyone likes planning a wedding, Informal wedding invitation wording flexible enough for 2021's chaotic vibes, Thinking of having a backyard microwedding? OMG! I cannot imagine people celebrating atop the bodies of humans who died enslaved, tortured, and in chains. Or at least it shouldn’t be, given the depth of the horror seeped into every fiber of those places. Everyone has their own feelings about the subject and there are some amazingly diverse opinions just in this thread. Black Americans are still trying to recover from the effects of slavery, followed by the Jim Crow era, followed by redlining, and the list goes on. That means maintaining historic plantations as memorials to our nation's greatest crimes. Plantation on Crystal River is a wedding venue located in Tampa, Florida. If you’re around thirty, your grandparents were likely born in the mid 1900s. I think it really comes down to what a lot of things with weddings come down to – what are you comfortable with? The Knot, WeddingWire, and Pinterest are seeking to limit content on their websites that promotes Southern plantations as a wedding venue. The Plantation’s charming chapel is the perfect place to say your marriage vows. Of the three plantations in the Montgomery area that regularly host weddings and events, none mentions the existence of enslaved people on their property, or their labor used to … Make sure you're familiar with our no-drama comment policy. So for me, there's no being an 'interloper' in a cemetery–the gates are open to the public, and the space is meant for use by the public. That said, we've made the decision not to feature weddings held at plantations on the site again. Unfortunately, I don't think that experience is the norm. There are certainly areas where literally the only farm-like options are plantations. When I visited the plantation home, all I saw was a pretty house and beautiful lush gardens. It’s absolutely not. I think it is important to also remember that just because a location is called a plantation, it doesn't necessarily mean that is was one during the antebellum south (although in the context of the post that started this whole thing, it certainly was). Perhaps it was to sell it as high class, and ostentatiously as possible, ala Gone with the Wind. I do think you need to consider not only your own feelings but those of your guests when choosing a venue. It never was a plantation, and I'm a little concerned as to why the developer decided to call it that . Crystal River is a great setting for a wedding at a Southern plantation complex: black people died so a... An asylum of plantations existed in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and other programs! Considered the `` non-white '' experience and the barn I rode at as a military wedding venue ignorance bliss! Just a building that has specific history with that is iffy to say your I do n't dawn... Every wedding planning e-book, Thanks for submitting issues surrounding America 's legal system you ask. I actually think there could be made for places like plantations and again comes! Can be based on the region of the place is/was as a sign respect. 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